Videos of the modern artist Henri Matisse

I never even considered the fact that there were videos of Henri Matisse to be seen.  Pretty wild when you think about it.  I wish these had been available to my art history prof.

" There is nothing more difficult for a truly creative painter than to paint a rose, because before he can do so he has first to forget all the roses that were ever painted. " Henri Matisse

Tyler Green, editor of "Modern Art Notes," and art historian Serge Guilbaut, editor of the Getty Research Institute publication, "Chatting with Henri Matisse," discuss the significance of this book—the result of a series of unpublished conversations between Swiss art critic Pierre Courthion and Henri Matisse in 1941.

Your Genes are Not Your Fate

If you're not convinced by my previous posts that you do have some control over your genetics, here is a talk by Dr. Dean Ornish...

And here's a talk by Craig Venter, that he references at the start.

"Craig Venter and team make a historic announcement: they've created the first fully functioning, reproducing cell controlled by synthetic DNA. He explains how they did it and why the achievement marks the beginning of a new era for science."

Personality - tendencies versus exhibited traits

Figuring out what makes someone tick is a fascinating past-time, especially figuring out yourself.  Some of the learning/personality tests/sorters I've investigated are: the corporate standby MBTI/Keirsey (INTJ), the academic favorite Five Factor (moderately-high Openness, moderately Conscientious, low Extraversion, low Agreeableness, high Neuroticism), the educator beloved Multiple Intelligences (Logical/Mathematical & Intrapersonal, followed closely by Verbal/Linguistic), the adult learning go-to Kolb Learning Style Inventory (Convergent), the not so known Ansir (Eccentrik thinker, Eccentrik worker, Visionary emoter), the clinical MMPI (results too complex for those not trained in interpreting it), and the mystic Enneagram (5 - Investigator).

My biggest problem with these tests is that some people see them as meaning your personality is carved in stone, despite the fact that research in human development shows that healthy personalities change over time and adapt to circumstances, even though the basic tendencies will still be evident at some level. An example given by David L. Guttman, in Reclaimed powers: Toward a new psychology of men and women in later life, is that men tend to become more nurturing as they age, while women become more assertive. Many researchers attribute this to cultural and health factors, which necessitate changes in their behaviors.

In simple terms, what I'm trying to say is that just because someone has a tendency towards being disagreeable, doesn't necessarily mean that they are always going to disagree or are unable to understand the importance of being agreeable.  It may mean that they have to consider the details more fully before they agree with something.  Or they may bite their tongues and agree for the sake of a more important goal.

As I stated in my last post, I found out that there have been some genes associated with certain personality traits, especially the Five Factor model. From Wikipedia's entry about this (retrieved 4/16/2014), the research shows that personality is only partially determined by genetics:

Twin studies suggest that heritability and environmental factors equally influence all five factors to the same degree. Among four recent twin studies, the mean percentage for heritability was calculated for each personality and it was concluded that heritability influenced the five factors broadly. The self-report measures were as follows: openness to experience was estimated to have a 57% genetic influence, extraversion 54%, conscientiousness 49%, neuroticism 48%, and agreeableness 42%.

(For you spelling purists, the academic/clinical/technical term is actually spelled "extraversion", not "extroversion". I know, it rubs against the grain.  But the original term was "extravert" and that is what is used in the Five Factors research.  "Extrovert" is an alternate version commonly used by the general populace. )

This first gene SNP is the one that made me search for personality results.  I was rather floored by the idea that my genes could influence my avoidance of errors and persistence, even though I've known for years that the genetic roots of personality were being researched. The bolding in the cited material has been added by me to highlight which aspects of the gene I am talking about.

rs1800497(C;C)

Normal (A2/A2): Better avoidance of errors. Normal OCD risk, normal Tardive Diskinesia risk, lower ADHD risk. Less Alcohol dependence. Higher risk of Postoperative Nausea. Lower obesity. Bupropion is ... This DRD2 TaqIA A2/A2 version causes a normal amount of Dopamine Receptors. Learns from mistakes more easily. Men may have a higher risk of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but lower risk of ADHD. Women have higher Persistence. Higher risk of Tardive Diskinesia when taking dopamine receptor antagonists. Lower risk of alcoholism and smoking addiction. Faster recovery from traumatic brain injury. 1.6x risk of early postoperative nausea within 6 hours of surgery. Bupropion (Wellbutrin, Budeprion, Prexaton, Elontril, Aplenzin, Zyban, Voxra) works to quit smoking. Lower obesity due to increased pleasure response to food.

I've started with this SNP, not only because it was the first personality gene I came across on my report, but as a matter of transparency in regards to my beliefs in the control we have over our own behavior.  It has occurred to me that part of the reason I so firmly believe that I can modify my own behavior is because I am genetically primed for the persistence it takes to do it.  That's not to say that I don't have other genetic and environmental factors that get in the way.  It's hard to persist in something when you're depressed and/or in pain - and there's a lot to be said for choosing your battles.  So, my apologies if I sound too gun-ho to those who must struggle harder with this things, along with my utmost respect for those who have managed behavioral changes despite the lack of this SNP to help them.

Probably the best example I can give of my persistence is something that happened back when I was a QA lab technician.  Because of my computer background and skills, I did a lot of the programming in my department.  One day a manager from another department told me that I programmed weirdly.  I turned from my monitor and asked him what he meant by that.  He said, "If you can't program straight through a problem, you don't let it stop you. You either program your way over it, around it, or tunnel underneath it."  I looked at him as if he had grown two more heads, because as far as I was concerned that's the way you're supposed to solve problems. And if all else fails, there's always C4. (I suspect both Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman of Mythbusters have a similar gene.)


rs53576(A;G)

You have a SNP in the oxytocin receptor which may make you less empathetic than most people. When under stress you may have more difficulty recognizing the emotional state of others which impacts loneliness, parenting, and socializing skills.
Some studies have suggested that the A;G genotype is associated with an intermediate level of empathy (compared to the G;G and A;A genotypes), although most report that A;G and A;A individuals have similar levels of empathy and stress handling capabilities.

I highlighted the "may" because a few friends protested against the idea that I am anything but empathetic.  Even I was a little bit surprised by this, but then I realized that empathy is a skill I actively work for and it wears me out after a while, even though on the surface, I appear to be all sorts of touchy-feeling.

Going back to the main rs53576 article in SNPedia, we find this reference:

[PMID 19015103] This study examined the association between the OXTR gene and parenting. A total of 176 mothers of toddlers were included in the study. After controlling for marital discord, depression, and education status, rs53576 was found to significantly correlate with parenting, with the G;G genotype being associated with a significantly more sensitive parenting style than A;A or A;G genotypes. However, they concluded that the major factor influencing parenting was the maternal education level.

At the moment I work in a position where my ability to be empathetic is tracked and enforced, increasing my skill in that area.  I work at it because I recognize its importance in my daily life.  However, it is something I have to make an effort for when I am under stress or distracted.  But then Daniel Goleman states in his TED talk that the most important factor in determining whether or not someone will act like a good Samaritan (which requires empathy) is if whether or not they feel rushed. At work I manage this "rushed" aspect by making sure I ground myself between customers, using my acquired knowledge from my behavioral studies.


rs1800955(C;T)

less-efficient serotonin processing; increased susceptibility to novelty seeking

I can see this.  I like keeping my mind busy.  However, I don’t usually seek novelty in social engagements as tested in the Big Five personality test.  Which is rather amusing when you realize how diverse and eclectic my friends are.  While this gene SNP is not directly linked to openness in Five Factor (or Big Five) Personality test (which I score between normal and high on) I would think that someone who was susceptible to novelty seeking, would also be open to new experiences.  When I got my report rs644148(T;T) was also listed as a possible indicator of openness, but the research on it is not conclusive at the moment due to lack of sampling.


rs1611115(C;T)

normal

That "normal" looks pretty uninformative until you compare it to rs1611115(T:T):

Personality disorder patients carrying the DBH TT genotype exhibited higher neuroticism and novelty seeking scores as compared to individuals with the (C;C) or (C;T) genotype. Analyses on the level of the neuroticism and novelty seeking subscales revealed that the DBH (T;T) genotype was primarily associated with personality features related to impulsiveness and aggressive hostility. Also adult ADHD patients carrying the homozygous (T;T) genotypes displayed by significantly increased neuroticism scores; when both personality disorder and adult ADHD patient were analyzed together, (T;T) carriers also displayed by significantly lower conscientiousness levels. [PMID 18982239]

I'm guessing this is why I score as average on conscientiousness on the Five Factor test. rs35753505(C;T) doesn't have a real entry to itself yet, but [PMID 18455369] says that "C allele carriers associated with higher (NEO-FFI) scores of neuroticism and lower scores of conscientiousness in a sample of 523 healthy individuals." Yet another case of me only having one allele for lower conscientiousness. It's a good thing that I have rs1800497(C;C) working for me - and I understand the need for conscientiousness.


My DNA test could only genotype one extraversion gene SNP - rs1800544(C;G)

[PMID 17894416] (Estonian Children Personality Behavior and Health Study subset, n = 419) GG genotype carriers had significantly higher scores on an assessment of depression, and significantly lower scores on morality and orderliness compared to CC carriers. girls with CC and CG genotypes scored higher than boys with the same genotypes on an assessment of extraversion. boys with GG genotypes, however, scored higher than girls with GG genotypes.

So, I am more extraverted than a male version of myself would be. I could see the benefit of that in a society where women were gatherers and males were hunters. Like I said, the genotype on the other SNP (rs1801252) didn't come through, so I have no idea if they match my low extraversion results. I'm guessing that I may have the (A;G) genotype though, since glycine carriers show "increased odds of low or very low extraversion levels in this particular study" - [PMID 15312808] Of course, my introversion may be from other factors.


rs1800759(C;C)

normal - genotypes A/A were significantly associated with agreeableness scores. 

Okay, I’m not the A/A genotype. Nor am I the A/C genotype, which since my test results has also been link to higher agreeableness scores. So, it’s not surprising that I always test as Low Agreeableness on the Big Five Personality test.  I used to have an email tag that read: "I disagree with everyone, sooner or later - it's part of my charm."


rs6832769(A;A)

The A allele of the CLOCK gene SNP rs6832769 was associated with lessened agreeableness (p = 0.00000871) in a group of 3972 Sardinians. The effect remained significant in the replicative American sample, but failed to achieve significance in the Norwegian sample and third sample (though the combined p value remained significant at 0.000865). 

And I am an American with two A alleles.  It's not that I'm not capable of being agreeable - just don't expect me to agree with you automatically.  If you're someone who believes that a friend/lover should agree with you without checking out the situation, no matter what, then I'm not going to be a close pal of yours. In fact, push it and it is possible I will become your Devil Incarnate.  Luckily for me, my best friend treasures this trait, and considers it one of my more valuable contributions to humanity.

There is another gene SNP (rs1984362) which may also affect agreeableness, but exactly how has yet to be determined.

rs362584(G;G)

The G allele of SNAP25 gene SNP rs362584 was associated with increased neurotic traits (combined p value = 0.0000522) in a group of 3972 Sardinians, and two smaller replicative samples from the USA and Netherlands (the replicative samples were not significant by themselves, with the Netherlands sample showing considerably less of a trend)

rs35753505(C;T)

Rs35753505 (SNP8NRG221533) is located within the 5'-flanking region of the NRG1 (Neuregulin 1) gene. g2b2mh blog rs35753505(C;C) correlates with frontal brain having to working harder during a working memory task. personality traits - C allele carriers associated with higher (NEO-FFI) scores of neuroticism and lower scores of conscientiousness in a sample of 523 healthy individuals The results suggest that subjects with risk alleles show hyperactivations in areas associated with elaborate episodic memory encoding and retrieval strategies.

I already referenced the rs35753505(C;T) SNP in the discussion of conscientiousness.  Between these two genes, it's understandable that I usually score between normal and high on neuroticism. 


Now, some of you may have read the NY Times piece on the Worrier-Warrior gene.  And you may be wondering, what version does she have?  Well, let me share the two SNPs that showed up in my results:

rs4680(A;G)

rs4680 (Val158Met) is a well studied SNP in the COMT gene. 23andMe blog summarizes them as *rs4680(A) = Worrier. Met, more exploratory, lower COMT enzymatic activity, therefore higher dopamine levels; lower pain threshold, enhanced vulnerability to stress, yet also more efficient at processing information under most conditions *rs4680(G) = Warrior. Val, less exploratory, higher COMT enzymatic activity, therefore lower dopamine levels; higher pain threshold, better stress resiliency, albeit with a modest reduction in executive cognition performance under most conditions

rs909525(A;G)

Probably one Warrior Gene and one non-Warrior Gene. Women with this combination usually have the 3 repeat MAOA Warrior Gene on one X chromosome and the 4 or 5 repeat MAOA non-Warrior Gene on the other X chromosome. 

And the answer is - I'm half and half, or a worrier-warrior, which in retrospect fits me perfectly.  I actually have several other genetic risk factors for anxiety; however, not for social anxiety.  It will be interesting to see what further research can reveal. But no matter what, I will always remember that it's up to me to decide how to use my genetic tendencies.  While they may have a 50% voice in my behavior, they are not the final word on it.

A Few Things I Learned Cross-Referencing My Limited DNA Results with the SNPedia database.

Okay, in an effort to have some concrete data to show me, my sister Serena offered to pay for a saliva DNA test.  She explained that it couldn't conclusively prove gluten intolerance, but it was the only test she could get for me without scheduling an appointment with a doctor, which would have been difficult since we live in different states and I have a weird work schedule.  By the time my birthday/Christmas came around, I had already found my own concrete proof that she was correct, but she went ahead and ordered me the test anyway because I have an interest in geneology.

And it's been fun exploring those results; however, it's obvious that there is a lot more research to be done.  Many people with documented Native American ancestry, don't show up as Native American, for one thing.  And I don't come up as Asian, even though several genes that contribute to my skin-tone are more common in south-east Asia than anywhere else.*  Of course, the only sure genealogical lines you can test for is your matrilineal line - and if you're male, you have your patrilineal line also.  I know my patrilineal line only because my sister had our dad take the test and I got that information from him.

Anyway, I decided that since it was my DNA, I needed to have a copy of my raw results, so I could have it analyzed better in the future.  I had a heck of a time finding out how I could download that information. Scouring the forums, I found a site that could cross-reference your results with the SNPedia database, and visiting the site, I found the extremely easy instructions for downloading my own raw data.  A week later, after doing some research on my own, I ordered the report from the site.  I did this fully aware that this was not a reliable way to diagnose health issues.  But even if I didn't know that, it would have become very obvious that not every gene I had, had a say in my body's functioning:

1) For instance, I supposedly have a high risk of Alzheimer's.  A total shock, since there is NO record of it in my family history.  However, there are several genes involved in getting Alzheimer's, and while I have a few that increase my risk, I also have several other genes that decrease my risk - and they outnumber the ones that increase my risk 2 to 1.

2) Of all the diabetic risks I have genetically, the one that appears the most likely for me to have, never happened.  I never experienced gestational diabetes.  Nor did I have hypertension.  I did have very, very low blood pressure during both of my pregnancies.  Based on some other genetic results and the physical manifestation of them, I think another condition may have flared up during my pregnancies.

3) I supposedly have more genes protecting me from psoriasis, than making me susceptible for it.  I have physical proof on my body right this moment that the risk factors for it won over the protective ones.

On the other hand, there were many results that were so spot on that it was spooky.  I had to remind myself several time, "Of course, it is, Mandy. This is what determines that you have this trait."

1) I've been told that I have an Asian tint to my very fair skin.  As I stated earlier, my genealogical DNA results doesn't show this, yet my cross-referenced results shows my skin color to be a mix of European fair skin and Asian coloring.

2) I can definitely digest milk.  And low fat diets don't make me lose weight at all, which was part of the reason I lost faith in most diets.

3) I do have smaller than normal mosquito bites.

4) I need larger doses of several medicines before they are effective, but I need only half the amount of caffeine.  This is partly why I dislike going to a doctor for medicines.  I'm often better off not having some medicines, than only have them partially work.

I don't know who said it originally, but there is a saying that goes: "Genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger."  By the same token, environment can jam the gun too.  At least that's what I assumed happened to a gene that usually makes people a little taller than average.  At 5'4", I'm literally the shortest person in my family of origin.  But I also was a very hard infant to feed.  My mother's stepmother finally got me on 2% milk somewhere between 6 and 9 months, and I stopped being colicky and started putting on some weight. Of course, I found that there are other genes involved in height, but it was not specified as to how they were in the report I currently have.  I'm sure more detail will be available as more research is done.

I also found out that my raw data had some holes in it.  I discovered this when I was investigating the genes involved in personality (which is a blog post in itself).  While my genes matched four of my Big Five personality results, the genotypes for the extroversion genes are missing.  I may re-do the test in a few years to see if I can get better results.

As for the gluten intolerance, it turns out I do have a few risk factors for Celiac's disease, some protective factors, and several that don't have enough data to make a clear conclusion with. But as I said, I have other solid proof of my gluten intolerance.  I may share a few of my other DNA discoveries in later blog posts.


*Found this through the Promethease report.

Wayne Greene at Open Stage 10/14/13

This past year has been a rough one for me creativity-wise.  Lots of events to process and knowledge to become proficient at, with some re-evaluations thrown in for good measure.

I don't know the answer to the question my brother in-law poses in his song above.  But some days I feel as if I am about to become the woman he speaks of.  I realize that some of it is clinical depression, and I will often force myself to exercise that part of me, even if it's in a small and silly way, just to keep it moored to my soul. I would hate to lose my creative talents just because the demands of existence stole it from me.

The ironic thing is - I have some creative works that are all but finished for the past year and yet I can't just get myself to do the last few steps to finish them.  My mom was like that, but that was normal for her.  She told me once that she hated finishing projects because it was like they died and went away.  I'm not that way, though.  Unfinished projects to me are like survivors clinging to a life-raft, waiting to be rescue.  It's usually in the finishing of them that I find peace.

I guess I have some rescuing to do. But first I need to get over this stomach virus...

Cabbage Rose

Cabbage Rose, a photo by mamaslyth on Flickr.

When I was little, my mom used to let me use her guitar oil pastels to draw with as a treat. A year ago, I inherited them, but I haven't drawn anything with them until tonight.

It has nothing to do with self-control.

After my mother's death, my sister Serena, a diagnostic bio-chemist, laid out her argument for why she felt my health issues may stem from problems with gluten.  I was resistant.  After all, I don't do fad diets and I have been eating stuff with gluten in it my whole life.  Okay, so I did show a symptom or two of Coeliac disease in my late 20s, but they went away after a day or two, and only reappeared on a yearly basis for a few years. And then there was that time when I tried to follow the old food pyramid for a week.  After two days, I literally had to crawl out of bed into the kitchen, because I was so weak and fatigued. I only ate protein and milk products that day to recover.

But gluten is a wonderful thing. It's filling. It makes food fluffy and tasty, and not crumbly. It's in a lot of cheap and easy to make food.  And most of all, it's practically ubiquitous. Not only is it in wheat, but it's also in barley, rye, and more food additives than you can shake a stick at.

However, when my sister actually offered to pay to have me tested for gluten sensitivity bio-markers, I realized how serious she was and how concerned she was.  I didn't start a gluten-free diet right away, but I started to be more aware of how much wheat I did eat.  Or more exactly, how much I preferred proteins over carbohydrates.  I was also coming to terms with the fact that for the past few years, I've been rapidly becoming weaker and more fatigued, to the point that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to care for myself in a few more years.

This last September, I spent several days with my sister, eating almost totally gluten-free during that time.  After a few days, I realized that I wasn't feeling as bloated and my brain was actually feeling a tad bit clearer.  I guess my body felt more improved in other ways too, because when I made the decision to eliminate gluten from my diet, it was surprisingly easy to turn down some of my favorite foods - KFC original recipe, M&Ms (dextrin comes from wheat), Coca Cola (caramel coloring), and malt-flavored stuff.  It was practically creepy. I did think ahead. I knew that if I was going to succeed at this, I had to find some easy foods to make because I knew I would have days when I wouldn't have the energy to fix meals from scratch. I found some good apps to use when I go shopping and out to eat. But hasn't been all smooth sailing. Like I said, wheat and gluten stuff is all over the place, and it's not cheap finding gluten-free foods.  But I've been slowly feeling life coming back to me. I'm not losing weight to my knowledge, but I'm gaining energy.

I've also had to be careful with my activity. I have a bad habit of over-doing it when I start feeling better.  Internally I go, "OMG! I'M HUMAN AGAIN! I'M GOING TO RECLAIM MY ENVIRONMENT AND BE ADEQUATE!"  Underneath this is the fear: "I need to get everything done while I still have the energy to do it!"  I usually end up not being able to move for three days.  During my vacation this month, I managed to pace myself until the second to last day, when I overdid it to finish my projects. And, yes, I paid for it. In my pained state, I ate some food with modified food starch because I was craving sugar - and I had to leave work because I became sick from it.

Still, it's awkward following a gluten-free diet, even when you don't inadvertently sabotage yourself.  Group meals are full of apologies on both sides.  I apologize for not tasting the wonderful dishes someone brings, and the other people apologizing for the lack of gluten-free food.  I usually bring some extra stuff for just me.  People keep asking me if I'm still doing it.  When I answer 'yes', they say things about how amazing my self-control is.  But the thing they don't understand is - it's not a matter of self-control.

Occasionally, I feel guilty and eat something with flour in it.  Now, even if you don't have a gluten intolerance, your body will have some problems eating gluten again, which is why your average person shouldn't really do a gluten-free diet.  I imagine that it's like when you eat beans only a few times a year:

I say "I imagine" it's like re-introducing beans to your diet, because the few times in the last two months that I have given in or accidentally eaten something with gluten in it, my experience has been drastically different:

When I eat gluten, at first, I only get a sour feeling in my stomach.  I feel groggy and a bit grumpy.  But the real fireworks start hours later, when the gluten reaches my intestines. Waking up in the middle of the night, feeling extremely nauseated and constipated, only to realize I have explosive diarrhea.  This lasts for several hours, as my body violently tries to expel the offending substance from it. Between the cramps, bloating, and migraine, time seems to move half as fast as normal.  During the worse attack, I woke up at 4 am and it wasn't until noon before I could leave the bathroom.

Like I said, it's not self-control; it's aversion conditioning at its finest.

And that's why I'm writing this blog post - to remind myself why I need to avoid gluten, when that sweet, well-meaning friend wants me to try their awesome homemade dish.  As much as I love my friends, it's not going to help anyone if I put myself through that torture.

As for the rest of you, diet however you like. While I would love to warn you against going on diets that are not specific for your metabolism, I have to admit that I would have even a harder time finding gluten-free prepared foods if it weren't for you.  You have no idea how torn I am over the fact that I actually have to follow a "fad" diet because of medical reasons.  But there you have it.  I may not have Coeliac's disease or even a wheat allergy (no histamine response), but I am gluten intolerant.  But at least now, I have hopes of becoming an energetic human being again.

A word about Prevention Protocol:

A lot of mental health issues are exacerbated because of stigma.  People shun others whose problems they don't understand.  People avoid asking for help for fear of being shunned.

Fighting stigma takes multiple approaches. Not just advocacy, but positive and accurate exploration through literature, art, and popular entertainment. Acceptance needs to be modeled, not just protested for. You need to show people what it looks like so they know what works.

Prevention Protocol is meant to show a solution, which in turn will make it easier for people to help when someone is suicidal at work.  Which is the main reason why it is free and will remain that way.

Hopefully, with time, I will write more stories that give people a better understanding of mental health issues in a non-threatening way.  I have a few in Scheherazade's Box and several sections about trauma and grief in A Tragic Tapestry, which I hope to have out soon.  Of course, the mental health issues are subplots, unlike the story in Prevention Protocol.

It is my hope that if people get exposed to mental health issues in non-stigmatized ways, they will take the lessons more to heart and be less fearful of the subject.

Free Book - Prevention Protocol

Prevention Protocol

A group of artificial intelligences seek reassurance after one of their human analysts emails a suicide letter to one of them before killing himself.

Would you know what to do if a coworker emailed a suicide note to you?

Elyn Saks: A tale of mental illness -- from the inside

This video is so powerful that there is really nothing I can add to it - except this, there are many people who have schizophrenia and/or mental illnesses, who achieve a great deal and contribute to society. Mental illnesses wax and wane in the severity of their symptoms. With proper care there is no reason to exclude people from society, when they can still contribute so much.

Please watch it.

Shakespeare, poetry, and body-consciousness

I had another topic planned for posting, but I need to think on it more, so I am reposting something from my Google+ page Poetry Tutorials and random thoughts:



Being in touch with the body

In my personal opinion great poetry comes from the soul and the muscles. It is felt in every fiber of your being. So it didn't surprise me in the least to read this article a few months back about William Shakespeare's poetry stating that:

According to Dr Heaton his analysis demonstrates that Shakespeare "was an exceptionally body-conscious writer." He suggests that Shakespeare's used this style of writing to allow his characters to appear more human and stimulate the reader to feel more empathetic or to dramatize his plays and poems.

Let's talk about poetry coming from the body for a few moments. The first example of the body influencing poetry writing is the effects of practice, which is a combination of exercising the mind and the body. When you practice writing poems, the neuron networks that help you write poetry become stronger and work faster. It becomes easier to find the right phrase, the right rhyme, etc. After all these years of writing poetry on an off, I can write syllable-count poetry without really worrying about the count because I usually am right on the button from pure repetition. For the same reason, I will automatically rhyme in my poems if I am very tired and ill. (Sleep deprivation introduces naturally occuring alliteration.) Writing poems on a regular basis also trains your body to enter a state of relaxation, allowing your mind to be freer with its expression.

The second example of writing from the body is the very thing Shakespeare did - using the description of bodily sensation to connect with the audience. In a way, you are achieving a deeper sense of communication through the verbal description of a physical language share by almost all humanity.

The third example is something I discovered while reading The Mythic Path by David Feinstein and Stanley Krippner. It is the act of actually exploring your own body's reaction to a triggering memory and then expressing it in words. To a lesser extent, it's what I use when doing the sensory approach to writing poetry. In the actually exercise, I first focused on a memory of something that represented security to me as a child and described what I was doing and what my body was feeling. Then I drew a personal symbol to represent that experience. After I drew it, I pretended I was the symbol and had it speak. I believe that's where the actual exercise ended before going on to the next memory, but being me, I had to explore it more in verse and write down other insights I had while doing the exercise.

While I am not comfortable sharing my results from those exercises, I can give you another example of describing the body's reaction in a poem:



Sun Song

Warm sand under my feet
Caressing them as I walk
Along the beach--blank as a page
A few pieces of driftwood and shells
Break up its placid smoothness


Gently the waves wash in and out
Removing the marks of those
Who dare this pilgrimage
I sit just out of their reach
Hypnotized by their rhythm


The sun beats upon my shoulders
Forcing muscles to relax
Burning out the daggers in my back
Nothing outside of this beach exists
My mind is as empty as the sky above me
A hunger makes itself known inside me
A hunger to be physically alive
To live in this body
Instead of ignoring its presence


I lay on my back
Nature communes with me
Reminding me that just being
Is cause for celebration
Grateful, I accept this lesson

Adventures with Pinterest

I curate a personal art museum. As of this moment, I have 532 works of art in it. I have ancient art, classical art, folk art, and modern art in it. I have works from the well-known, the unknown, and every degree of fame in-between. I have art that have personal meaning for me, works of historic importance, multi-cultural works, shocking works, and soothing works.

Here's my art gallery. I love it. I don't have to worry about space, climate controls, visitors, theft, insurance, or any other type of maintenance issue. The only drawback is that I can't arrange and organize things. Outside of that, it's the perfect art gallery for me.

I joined Pinterest out of curiosity more than anything else. A male acquaintance on Google+ invited me to it. Of course, I had heard about the site at work, from women who were using it to plan weddings, baby showers, and other things. Outside of the recipe board, I haven't really used any of the pre-made board categories the way most people would. Oh, I started out by making boards for some of my favorite things - butterflies, flowers, landscapes, geek stuff, and glass. But my "For the Home" is really more "Quirky Home-Related Stuff" and a companion to my "Interesting homes" board. And then there's my "Inspirations of Fantasy" board, which are more or less just things that excite the fairy tale lover within me, even if they are real.

A few months ago, I made a board sort of in memory of a classmate, who had just died from cancer at the young age of 25 years. I had often enjoyed her Pinterest boards, because they showed her joy and enthusiasm for color and life, as well as her eye for style. I sensed within some of her choices an underlying desire to be married, mixed with the knowledge that she may never have the opportunity. After her death, I missed seeing her pins, so I started my own board of elegant and romantic things. However, in honor of her authenticity, I chose things that were more appropriate to myself than recreate her choices. I don't think it represents me as much as her boards did her, but it does represent the overlap she and I had - which is far more meaningful.

A few days ago, I read Plan Your Future: How to Create a Vision Board by Margarita Tartakovky, M.S. over on PsychCentral. Since I've recently been laid off due to a corporate re-organization of my department, I thought it would be a good idea to do a vision board. Due to my current financial constraints, I decided I would try to do this online, instead of getting magazines. I cruised a few online sources of things I wouldn't normally be interested in - such as a powerpoint forwarded by my mother (As_melhores_fotos_da_PIXDAUS_I.pps), a search for tattoos on Pinterest (doing a single board didn't give me many images to consider), a knitting blog (Knitting to Stay Sane), and a car TV show website (Motor Week). I finally settled on 10 images. As it turns out, I really don't find tattoos all that inspiring. I had to work to find an image I felt any affinity towards. I knew I was never really into tattoos, but I underestimated the depths of my apathy towards them. I think it's because I find skin fascinating on its own.

Anyway, I played with the images in a graphics editor on my computer until I had an arrangement I liked and then I answered the questions. I identified a color scheme, a pull towards nature, and somewhat surprisingly a desire to ascend things.

In theory, it should be possible to do a vision pinboard by culling from images you've already collected on other boards. Of course, the original exercise is set up to make you think outside of the box - and I would still suggest using sources you aren't normally interested in to start. But once you've started that process, you should be able to go back through your own boards and pick out images that pull at you. Unless, of course, you have a habit of only pinning things based on what other people approve of. In that case, you probably wouldn't get much personal insight out of using the stuff you've already pinned.

The problems with the theory (or more specifically the hunch) - you can't make a single board private, which may lead to self-censorship. You could, of course, privately gather images other ways and work with them. And as I mentioned earlier, you can't rearrange things on a Pinterest board. Still, it may still serve some purpose to have one, even if it is a bit restrained. A friend uses Pinboard, a site the requires a one-time free, but does allow you to keep certain boards private, but doesn't post images - so it wouldn't work for this. A combination of the two sites would be nice.

I suspect that there may be other ways to use Pinterest, which are not immediately obvious. Being able to visually tag things is bound to lead to different ways of processing ideas.

Modern Artist Spotlight – Rob Mulholland

(image via The Daily Mail - resized for display)

Rob Mulholland is a sculptor and installation artist based in the United Kingdom, who does some pretty awesome things with mirrored surfaces. Seriously, this guy’s work Vestige is gut-wrenching thought provoking. To quote the artist:

The six male and female figures represent a vestige, a faint trace of the past people and communities that once occupied and lived in this space. The figures absorb their environment, reflecting in their surface the daily changes of life in the forest. They create a visual notion of non – space. A void as if they are at one moment part of our world and then as they fade into the forest they become an intangible outline.

His most recent work Tide Flow – Time Flow invites us to consider the flow of evolution in a similar fashion. I personally think the use of mirrored surfaces makes the viewer more likely to examine themselves and their own part in the play we call existence.

Of course, Mr. Mulholland has works in other mediums that you would expect from an inventive modern sculptor, including more perishable materials and items from mundane life. You can see the theme of humans relating to their past and their environment through much of his works. But these stainless steel mirrored works are a stroke of pure genius.

Artist’s website - http://www.robmulholland.co.uk/

Social Networking Bill of Rights

Via: Online Background Check Resource

Blowing the dust off...

I've decided to damn the torpedoes and slowly bring this blog back to life. I have a psychological exploration project I want to start working on and this is the best place for it.

Until I'm actually ready to start that project, though, let me introduce you to some of my other projects currently in progress over on Google+:

The Short Stories of A.D. Barncord
I have most of my old short stories on there and several new stories that are part of the same science fiction series, called The Path of Destruction. I'm supposedly writing this series with a friend, but she's busy with this thing called "a life". *wink* So at the moment, I'm writing most of the stuff. "Too Much of a Good Thing" is the first story of the series and pretty much lays out the foundation for everything else.

In related news, I have an exclusive short story on Amazon Kindle Direct called "Dust Mote and Ashes", which is a psychological thriller and only 99 cents (that's the cheapest price they let you set stuff for), if you have an ereader that can read Kindle stories. If you have Amazon Prime and a Kindle, you can read it for free.

Poetry Tutorials and random advice
These Google+ page has poetry tutorials I've created in the past, poetry tips I've come across or stumbled over, a variety of different poetry forms, and basically anything of remote relevance to the writing of poetry.

The Poetry of Amanda Barncord Doerr
My original poetry. I'm almost done posting all the old stuff I've written. When I do, I will probably go from posting poetry daily to posting about weekly, since I'm only writing about one new poem a week.

Anyway, enjoy and I'll try to start my project here in another month or so.

Closed until further notice

Due to professional reasons, I will not be posting anything here for a while. I suppose it's not a great loss, since I haven't been able to motivate myself to get posts up. Still, it's a little frustrating that it's a blanket restriction, instead of a set of guidelines. But then, the Internet is still a confusing thing to many.

other examples of visual processing

Okay, previous attempt did not work. I may have to check a few settings in Google docs. Anyway, here's what I was trying to post.

Modern Artist Spotlight - Dave Devries

I haven't been feeling well this past week. I'm afraid my allergies triggered an episode of moderate dehydration and I spent my time off from work rehydrating. I do have a few science posts planned, as well as breaking my art survey into two smaller surveys. In the meanwhile, I will share an artist brought to my attention by a friend.

Dave Devries uses his skill to bring children's drawings into the realm of super-hero graphic style. He uses real images drawn by children, and with an opaque projector, uses acrylic, airbrush, and colored pencil to make them look realistic. This work became the Monster Engine book. Devries brings his work to the public, letting children participate and teaching college students how to do what he does in workshops and lectures. I love it when adults reach out to children and transgenerational communication occurs in a way that validates the imagination.

Qualitative and Quantitative research - ISO Audits

It occurred to me after my last post that many people might not know the difference between qualitative and quantitative research. In a nutshell:

Quantitative Research - research where the results are all distilled down to numeric quantities. It is usually recommended during the latter phases of a research project. Questions such as "how many people follow the procedure manual while doing this task?"; "how often is this store robbed?"; or "what is the percentage of improvement in depressed people while taking this medication versus a placebo?" are things answered through quantitative research.

Qualitative Research - is research where the results consist of words, descriptions, and images. It is usually recommended during earlier phases of research projects. Questions such as "what procedures are being used in production?"; "who is responsible for security?"; and "what are the side effects of this medication?" require qualitative answers.


The ISO compliance audit is a qualitative research process. Things like percent of damage returns or wasted man-hours are secondary concerns. What is important are things like:

Do the procedures documented in the process manuals accurately depict what is being used on the floor? Some companies create procedures that have little to no resemblance on how the worker actually does the job. Sometimes it's because the workers just don't care, but other times it is because the documented procedure is not adequate, whether it's out of date, an efficiency problem, or safety issue. It's hard to improve something if you aren't documenting what works and what doesn't.

How are data measured, recorded and analyzed? This is something you should ask yourself whenever you read a research document. All the number gathering in the world is meaningless if the numbers are not handled correctly.

Areas of responsibility and accountability. It's not enough to say "Yes, someone is accountable for this." An ISO auditor has to find out who is the person. Is it the QA manager or the production manager? Is it the financial department or procurement?

Feedback flows. How does the company get customer feedback? How can employees give feedback?

And so forth... The ISO system is developed to help companies not only prove their ability to produced quality products, but also put in place processes that help companies improve their performance and stay competitive in changing markets. It is qualitative in nature because you can't compare diverse companies through the use of quantitative data. It's been tried and it was ineffective. However, that's not to say that there is not a quantitative element in ISO certification. You still need a way to track how effective procedures are and what areas need the most work on.

Good researchers start with indepth qualitative research and then do the quantitative research. Anything else is not good research.

The Importance of Qualitative Research

For five years I worked as a Quality Assurance Technician/Specialist for a major corporation, before I took time off to be a stay at home mom. Most of my work revolved around routine quantitative tests and research at the national QA lab. However, I had the opportunity to work on some investigative research during that time. One nice thing about doing internal research for a major corporation is that you don't really have the option to put a spin on your test results. There is always an external bottom line that you are accountable to. While in the academic and sales world, some researchers can talk circles around their results and still retain their positions, in the quality assurance world, if your research is faulty, it shows in the product and in the accounting. Faulty quality research costs a company money and can get you fired.

During my time in the QA field, I learned several things about research. First off, it's extremely easy to end up measuring the wrong thing. I cannot emphasis that point enough. During my first year, I was the technician for a new engineer, and he and I found this out firsthand. We even had a strong disagreement over one test on this matter. I noticed that there was something weird going on with my test results and brought it to his attention. He wanted to wave it away, because my results were confirming his hypothesis. If there is one thing I hate doing, it's fudging data. So I told him flat out that it may prove his hypothesis, but as a technician, I was not going to stand by the results. He finally told me that I could repeat the test. I'm sure he was expecting me to back down because he knew I hated doing that particular test, especially for the number of repetition he was asking for. Instead I agreed and then after clarifying that I would be doing the test the same way as I had the first time, I asked if I could switch the order of the samples. He agreed and the next set of results showed that I was right. To the engineer's credit, he then accepted that he was mistaken, listened to my observations, and figured out what actually was going on - and was able to confirm it. A few years later, he borrowed me back from the manager I was then working with, because he had a $5 million bizarre problem to solve and he wanted a technician who would tell him if things were looking screwy.

Between those times I worked for that one engineer, I worked for a manager who had been a university professor at an engineering school before working for the company. I was given the task to compare two types of color measuring machines. (Since, to the best of my knowledge, no one reading this blog is in the flexible packaging field, I'll dispense with the technical names.) The newer one was developed for the auto industry and we needed to see if it could meet our needs. Before I could even begin to compare the two machines, I had to do a search of the literature before I could even have an idea what I was actually testing. I also talked to our R&D packaging scientist and the manufacturer's representatives. I even resorted to going through my mother's old books on painting with color, which provided me with a lot more on the subject than I originally expected.

In short, under the direction of my manager, I did qualitative research before I started anything quantitative. That's because it's the qualitative research that shows you what you should be measuring. Most people don't understand that. When I took the research methods class for my masters, I really had to bite my tongue not to go into an impassioned rant over the necessity of qualitative research as a precursor of decent quantitative research. The R&D scientist I worked with for the color project was brillant and a good deal of his brillance came from the fact that he did his qualitative research before he launched his quantitative research. In the quality assurance world, measuring the wrong thing costs money and jobs. There's no time for weak research based on "well, this sounds like this might be the cause." You need to have solid reasons for your choices before you can even start your tests and in the corporate world, those choices are challenged more stringently than what I've seen so far in the academic world. Of course, this may not be the case on the doctorate level. I hope that is the case when I go back to school for my doctorate, because through my quality assurance training I have developed an obsession with doing thorough background research before I develop a test procedure. This is the reason my capstone is basically a literary review, because I would rather do a thorough literary review than a half-thought out series of qualitative tests.

Actually, I'm not sure I can even bring myself to do testing before doing a literary review. You see, my last job with this company was manufacturing defects coordinator. I was transferred to a plant to help them reduce their packaging defects. The plant management was convinced that the suppliers were sending them inferior flexible packaging. I spent the first few months testing roll stock to confirm that this plant was getting the same quality of packaging that all the others were. The plant manager didn't take that very well and I was told that I had six months to find out what the problem was or my job would be eliminated. For the first two or three months, management kept giving me things they wanted me to test for them as possible causes for their high defect rate. Out of pure preservation, I began to study other possible contributing factors. I used my connections with the national lab to talk to the engineers who trained the trainers who taught the packaging machine operators how to do their jobs. These were also the same guys who followed up on the quality of the machine maintenance people. They assured me that the trainers and the plant maintenance people where I was at were top notched. I talked with the trainers in the plant and made friends with the maintenance guys. It was obvious from their dedication and knowledge that they were, indeed doing their part. It was also obvious through the observed quality of their work, which they gladly let me examine.

I knew we were all missing something, but I couldn't figure out what it was while doing all the tests to make management feel better. So, I took a stand and reminded them that they brought me there because I was a specialist and if they were going to make me accountable for this, then they needed to let me do the job I was brought in for. Again, the plant manager was not impressed, but I figured I was doomed anyway with the way things were going, so I stood my ground. He said he wanted me to do line audits. In the past, I had been doing warehouse audits because no one wanted me to interrupt their production flow. I told him that I would do it on the grounds that I created my own audit criteria. To make everyone happy, I put in every common packing flaw that could be seen by a non-destructive inspection. However, well aware that I still had no idea what the real problem was, I made sure I made a space on my audit forms for comments - just in case I stumbled across a clue or two.

Then I started my line inspections. I hadn't even finished my first bag inspection, when the packaging machine operator came up to me and asked in a surly voice if he was going to see my results right away or was he going to have to wait until his manager yelled at him about them. Dumbfounded, I said, "You don't get my reports?" After he confirmed that was the case, I asked him if he wanted me to make him a copy and bring it back to the line as soon as I finished with everyone. He agreed. During this time, a light went off in my head, as I reviewed the stories I knew about how my dad and maternal grandfather managed their employees. The packaging machine operators weren't getting enough feedback. And if they weren't getting enough feedback, then chances were, based on the first guy's comments, they weren't getting any positive feedback at all. So, in my "comment box" I mentioned specifically what was right about the bags I auditted.

I asked every machine operator if they wanted my reports directly from me. All of them said yes. I instituted what I called my positive feedback program. Sometimes, before I even started checking for flaws, I would write down what looked good on the bag. After a week of this, the machince operators started looking forward to my audits and asked for my opinion on some of their issues. During the third week, I came across a perfect bag. I asked the machine operator if I could display it in the lunchroom with his name attached to it. That bag was followed by others from other machine operators. Three months from the start of my audits and positive feedback, the manufacturing defects numbers had dropped 70%.

It wasn't the quantitative studies that found the issue. It was the qualitative investigation that did the job. The quantitative studies only backed it up. International Organization for Standardization has proceedures it dictates for those companies wishing to be ISO certified. I've actually taken classes on ISO certification a few years back and I can assure you that their quality standards take into account the qualitative aspects of processes too. I'm tempted to pull out my books and give examples, but I think I'll save that discussion for another post.