Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Single parenthood

Once Upon A Time,
We Too Were Legitimate

Several years ago at a woman’s conference I heard an older woman say, “Oh my gosh! I forgot that women come with children.” I smiled when she said this, for I felt for that brief second that I had found a golden nugget to the problem that separates women from women. Women do come with children, but only if there is a husband attached to the structure are they legitimized as mothers. When the “husband” is removed, we fall silent. We become an invisible part of the world of the working poor, or we are denigrated as the cause of every imaginable social ill. We have now entered into the category of the sacred hoydens of American society.


Mexigogue said...

Hoyden, sweet! I love learning new words!

Single parenthood blows but so does spousal abuse. Why can't people just act right?

Cosmic Siren said...

I think instant gratification has a lot to do with it. Also shame-based behaviors.

Someone tells a person that they need to take care of a problem. They feel bad, but instead of going, "Ouch! Let's get this corrected and put it behind us," they go, "I'm a horrible person. I don't want to be a horrible person. You make me feel bad, so I'm going to make you feel worse. Then you'll learn not to make me feel bad and I won't be horrible anymore." *SMACK!*

Mexigogue said...

I think you hit the midget right on the dead there! I can't stand arguments like that. Life is complicated enough without people making pointless arguments just to make themselves feel better.

Cosmic Siren said...

I can't really take credit for it. John Bradshaw and several others have already documented this cycle of shame-abuse.